being home made me realize i love college, and other things

Hi, people! Sorry for the lack of posts lately; I've been too busy trying not to die in this ice storm.

Thankfully I made it back to the home base safe and sound after a much needed, but WAY too long winter break. This brings me to my next point: why is being home for the holidays so utterly disappointing? Stick with me here.

The anticipation to be home after a grueling week of finals is killer. I am not lying when I say I Usain Bolt-ed it out of the lecture hall as soon as I completed my last final. Not even fifteen minutes later, I was driving home along good ol' I-29, daydreaming about my cozy bed and home cooked meals.

The thing about college is that there truly is no free time, in perspective. Even if all of your homework is 'done', there's still textbooks you could/should be reading, notes you should be taking, and projects you shouldn't be procrastinating so much.

Then break rolls around and there is SO much free time. But not in a good way. Of course, if you're lucky enough to have a job, this doesn't apply to you, you lucky SOB. I actually WANTED to work over break; I went to my previous place of work (that may or may not have "gently" fired me) to ask for more hours, and let's just say I didn't make any money over Christmas vacation.

No one is going to hire you at a new job when you're on break, so I subsequently became my mom's personal assistant. I can't complain though. I love Hyvee. Getting to grocery shop without a budget? As in, Ramen noodles didn't have to be my main source of food anymore? I'm not mad about it.

Even though little chores like cleaning my room in exchange for Chipotle was a nice way to keep me occupied, I'm one of those people that needs structure in order to feel that my life has purpose. Without Chapter meetings and class to attend, well, I feel kind of useless. Don't get me wrong that the first week of break was downright wonderful. Seeing family and friends is always great, and so is catching up on the much needed sleep that everyone lost during finals week. I have Adderall and caffeine to thank for that.

However, I began to use sleep as a substitute for boredom - a way to pass the time, if you will. That's when I wondered: has my hometown always been this boring?

19 is a weird age. Too young for the bars, too old to have fun in our friends' basements while their parents watch a RomCom upstairs. The kind of get-together you have to take your shoes off at the door for.

The best part about family and hometown friends is that you're able to pick up right where you left off no matter the circumstances. It's really not the people I have a problem with, because I love y'all; it's the environment.

I found myself feeling an odd mixture of nostalgia and disappointment when I hung out at my hometown stomping grounds.

I had spent the better half of my high school career hanging out at a public park on the weekends. When I went back to observe the next generation of delinquents, I noticed that the environment and people had not changed. I had changed.

At the time my friends and I didn't have a problem with hanging at the park because that's all there really was to do. When I came back, I was flabbergasted that I devoted so much of my time standing around in a literal parking lot. I'm not mad about it, though; those were the times that epitomized the meaning of high school for me. Some of my best memories were made at the park, yet, being back reminded me that I'm grateful to have started this new chapter in my life.

Moving to a new state was by far the most refreshing thing I have ever done, but being back home reminded me why I was so eager to press the restart button.

I'm sure my opinion would be different if I had spent winter break in Florida or something, but alas, this break was highly mediocre and I didn't exactly hate to see it come to an end.

With that said, see you all in South Padre for spring break.

A.S